i attended the wake. its saddening and hurting to see the grief and pain in him. as i got down the car, my lip trembled a little. i dont know what to expect and how do i start consoling him. he needs no console, that i know. for the past few moments, i just sat quietly with him, it was awfully quiet. tears welled up his eyes when we talked, there's nothing anyone could do but time, i wished you could washed away all the pain and loss. and for the first time, i had nothing to say, neither to start a conversation. i frowned from time to time when he remove his glasses and i sense that he's holding back the tears that is choking him. our eyes didnt meet because fear, i fear of seeing him breaking down. he's always strong in my eyes. and i know everyone gradually have to accept. time, he needs plenty of time.

life's always fragile but i never thought it was that tiny until last night. i learn that i hold every second and moment dearly. express your love and care today because you never know when tomorrow never comes. this was the recent mail he sent;

Think about these one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...
IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.

1.Being in love.
2.Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3.A hot shower.
4.No queues at the supermarket.
5.Taking a drive on a pretty road.
6.Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
7.Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
8.Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
9.Chocolate milkshake... (or vanilla ... or strawberry!)
10.A bubble bath.
11.Giggling.
12.A good conversation.
13.Finding a £20 note in your coat from last winter.
14.Running through sprinklers.
15.Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
16.Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
17.Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
18.Waking up and realising you still have a few hours left to sleep.
19.Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
20.Having someone played with your hair.
21.Sweet dreams.
22.Making eye contact with a cute/pretty stranger.
23.Holding hands with someone you care about.
24.Running into an old friend and realising that some things (good/bad) never change.
25.Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much-desired present from you.
26.Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
27.Knowing that somebody misses you.
28.Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
29.snuggling up the bed with your love one.
30.Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.


something on a lighter note, weekend's just round the corner. (: it always cheer me up just to think about weekends.

oh wellsss.. went prawn-ing with vincent. it was sucha lousy one. we spent 3 hours just getting 5 prawns! can anyone believe it. prolly i was so not patient and kept changing spots and my phone's going off every minute. it was somewhat fun since its the first time.

this's another interesting one, "who's your type?"

Your type is the Preppy

If he's conservative, friendly, and clean-cut, he's just your type! You fall hard and fast for the Preppy guy. Whether it's because of his handsome appearance or his impeccable hygiene, this guy's a safe bet! He's fun and social without being immature or wild. Your guy's refined, runs with a cool crowd, and has a little cockiness thrown in for good measure. This Yuppie male is always put together well. He's just cool, calm, and collected. Another quality that draws you to him is his ambition. He aims for success and follows whatever path will lead him there. You respect how he always makes time for his friends and has a tendency to be a little goofy. With this cheeky, well-groomed guy, you can rest assured that you'll live the American dream!

this's pretty funny about me and J.Lo....
CJ, your movie star double is Jennifer Lopez

A magnetic maven like you needs to be played by someone who knows how to get an audience's attention — and keep it. That's why Jennifer Lopez would be a great leading lady in the movie of your life. You've got a certain star quality that makes people applaud whatever you decide to put your energy into. Regardless of whether you match J Lo's glamorous look, her mega-diva glow will help translate your stunning charisma to the silver screen.

Back in high school, were you the one in the spotlight — star of the school play, student council president, and popular girl around town? Well, with your charms, you should have been. There's just something about you that has people screaming for more. But that's a good thing since you probably thrive when you're being social, surrounded by people, or getting out and about.

If some people perceive you as high maintenance, you can just tell them that you have high expectations. If you're willing to work so hard on yourself, why can't other people do the same? So get ready for the new cast in the movie of your life headed by none other than J Lo herself.

i'm out